Spontanious Animal Combustion
phenomenon in which any animal caught defacating on my lawn bursts into flames, and it wasn’t my fault.
bob: “howdy neighbor! by any chance, have you seen my sweet little sparky? he’s been missing for two days now.”
jeffy: “uhhh….uhhhhh….i didn’t do it.”
bob: “what?”
jeffy: “you’re not gonna believe this: i was mowing my lawn the other day and…i smelled something…burning. i looked over to see poor sparky engulfed in a ball of fire, yelping for help……but by the time i reached him he was utterly consumed and only his ashes remained. that’s what happened to sparky. i’m not lying, it was spontanious animal combustion bob.”
bob: “………….-gurgles-“
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