springfield, missouri

the third largest city in missouri; located in greene country.
brad pitt is from springfield, missouri
where friendships go to die.
“are you guys going to keep in touch?”
“no man they’re moving to springfield, missouri”
“oh”
according to the 2010 national census springfield, missouri is a town with a population of 159,498 which makes it a relatively larger town in south west missouri which is an area of the state that is predominantly dotted by towns with populations less than 10,000.

anyone who lives in springfield can tell you that many of the residents lack two brain cells to rub together. springfield has been considered one of the worst places to raise a family due to it’s unusual high crime rate for a town of it’s size.

typical residents of springfield are ill tempered, narrow minded and defiantly judgmental of those who don’t fit their skewed perception of “normal” which is a bearded redneck the shoots a gun and thumps a bible and has a domineering over weight girl friend that bosses him around.

there has been a long time feud between the lower cl-ss, thuggish north side residents and the sn-bbish, upper cl-ss south side residents. although the south side has less crime and has far better public schools with students that out achieve most of the north side students academically it still seems ridiculous to ethnically divide a town that takes less than 30 minutes to drive from one end of town to the other.
person 1: have you met that guy who just moved in from another state?

person 2: yes, he seems pretty dumb.

person 1: he told me he’s from springfield, missouri.

person 2: that would explain it.
great place to retire.

place so where froyo, or frozen yogurt, was just discovered couple weeks ago.

where there are 50+ chinese restaurants.

a small–ss village that people make d-mn sure to call it a “city”.

not a city.

where people can’t drive worth sh-t.

where high school athletes are considered to be jokes by real athletes from real cities.

where fat, white rednecks sincerely believe that they have something in relation to the afro-centric culture of hip hop.

where girls remain pretty until they pop out a disappointment in the form of a baby at the age of 14.
“i cruise in the p-ssing lane” -typical driver from springfield, missouri

“i just discovered froyo last week!” -typical student from springfield, missouri

“it’s a city! look, it has roads. you city people are so ignorant!” -typical springfield-ian

“where the f-ck do you see a building that goes over at least 3 stories? of the 3 buildings here that actually go over 3 stories, do you see any of them grouped together? where the f-ck are real clubs? do actually successful/famous musicians come here on a consistent basis? and i can actually see the sky here! this is not a city!” -any sensible human being