St Mary’s

n.
1. short for, saint mary’s college of maryland
2. the bad -ss school on the river. we grow pot, we smoke pot, we eat pot, we live pot. mardigreens and hallowgreens are regularly used terms. if you’ve “lost it” your shoes will be hanging from a tree. on your birthday expect to get ponded. buy your booze at cooks and party hard at monks or the green door. public safety officers are our best friends, especially when they are chasing us from the point. we flock to the keys for spring break and, when we return, we ride around naked on bicycles. we live in rough house, snow hill, rubbleheap, and mt. pleasant. our hippies have perfected the art that is frisbee golf. on easter we hunt for natty bo…not eggs. say h-llo to sunshine and cowboy and then pop your collar b-tches….you’re in st mary’s.
3. and we have a climbing wall.
q: “oh, so you go to mount st. mary’s?”
a: “dude, no way! i go to st. mary’s. on the river.”
st.mary’s college of maryland is a compet-tive small liberal arts college in southern maryland on the st.mary’s river which leads into the chesapeake. it’s a very liberal, some-what hippie/boho type school and is known for small-cl-sses, great professors, and the scenery.
i love st. mary’s college of maryland, i miss going kayaking and sunbathing at the point.
the waiting line to get into a donkey show.
“i can’t believe i’ve been in st. maries for three days now.”
or
“wow, it is absolutely boring in st. maries.”
a sh-tty midget town next to other drug infested towns. drug center of pennsylvania. most citizens are gay or bis-xual and also inbred. home of ecchs, a concentration camp headed by teddy hanes. children get eaten and adults die before 30. h-ll.
this town is such a dump, must be close to st. marys.
no matter what anybody tells you, a popped collar on this campus means you are a tool. yes, a tool.

get used to ducking and/or getting hit with discs on a regular basis, saying hi to gus and gertie, waking up to enigmatic chalk messages all over campus, hearing phish or o.a.r. or some other jam band sh-t blasting out of windows everywhere you go, and getting mud on every pair of shoes you own.
q: haven’t you heard of st. mary’s? we’re the top public honors college in the country!

a: dude, there are only two.
when you wake up to sirens and helicopters don’t worry the bomb squad has taken car of the light fixtures.
q: why was world carnival cancelled?
a: because the groundskeeps found a fallen lighting fixture and mistaked it for a pipe bomb!!
a hospital in east st. louis you should never ever under any circ-mstances go to unless you have a death wish.
person 1: woah! what happend to your arms?!?
person 2: i went to st. mary’s for my sore throat, and they amputated my arms. i should have just driven 5 mins. to belleville to go to st. elizabeths. 🙁

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