St Neots
a market town on the a1 in cambridgeshire notable for it’s large ratio of ineducated chavs to normal people.
the town gets it’s name from some theiving b-st-rds around a thousand years ago who nicked the bones of st neot (from st neot in cornwall) and drove them over here in a vauxhall nova, after hearing that the town is great for racing round, or generally just sitting in their car every night waiting for 13 year-olds to suck them off in riverside car park.
popular cultural landmarks are the priory and the new inn. other beautiful, friendly nightclubs could be listed here, but there’s a new one shut down each week, so there’s not much point.
as the largest town in cambridgeshire, it’s barely on the map because people think huntingdon is ‘way cooler’.
it’s also the birthplace of the only person ever to -ssasinate a prime minister: john bellingham. after realising that this man had b-lls, the town mayor at the time, decided to re-name the market square to bellingham square. it was later renamed back to ‘market square’ when it was realised that n-body could spell bellingham.
st neots has always wanted to have a cinema, but many plans are rejected because many of the town’s occupants don’t have a mental age above 8, rendering most films unsuitable for viewing by the local public and therefore not such a good money-maker.
i’d quite like to get beaten up in a rural town full of incompetent d-ckheads. i know! i’ll go to st neots!
a sh-tty little rot-box of a town in cambridgeshire, united kingdom. mostly harbouring petty criminals, shoplifters and drug dealers in the vast majority of its filthy streets, while many residents are rejects from london, who felt they weren’t good enough.
prost-tutes also linger. probably. quite possibly one of the worst towns in the uk to live in.
150 crimes in st. neots during november 2011, according to police.uk
15 burglary
70 antisocial
1 robbery
3 vehicle crime
12 violent crime
13 shoplifting
2 public disorder and weapons
13 shoplifting
14 criminal damage and arson
11 other theft
5 drugs
4 other crime
like it or not, these are the facts.
october – 210 crimes
september – 159
august – 174
july – 197
may was comparatively quiet with a tiny 137 crimes.
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