Stanford

a private university located in california. stanford is considered one of the united states’ best schools, along with harvard and yale. stanford is extremely difficult to enter. it has the lowest acceptance rate of harvard and yale.
my friend who got a 4.6 gpa and a 1600 sat was rejected from stanford.
a very prestigious university situated in the heart of silicon valley. stanford rocks infinitely more than harvard or mit in the humanities, sciences, engineering, and especially life in general. great exit opportunities, cutting edge research, and first-rate academics are just a few of the benefits at stanford. it is the most complete university out there, and may very well be the quintessential school for the 21st century.
mit student: stanford is easy as h-ll. its computer science cl-sses cannot compare to our intense 6.170 and its biology cl-sses remind me of home ec.

stanford student: pssh…when all is said and done, just know that at the end of the day i will have better grades, better employment opportunities, better connections, and better friends than douchebags like you. you’ll have to lie on your resume just to be as employable as me.
a very rich and prestigious university in palo alto, california. quite possibly soon going to eclipse harvard, yale, princeton, etc for the t-tle of most compet-tive usa college. students come from all over the usa and the world to live in this palm lined elegance that is called stanford. the best and most beautiful private school in the entire world.
idiot: hey i’m applying to harvard, yale, mit, and columbia.
smart kid: rejected from stanford ??
idiot: (crying) yeah, just shut up about it! (crying more)
the university you wish you went to.
student 1: oh dear g-d, why oh why was i rejected form stanford?

student 2: don’t cry – no, wait – yeah, you should weep bitterly. not everyone can get into stanford, where an awesome time, academic excellence, the coolest people you will ever meet, and a future are guaranteed.
take harvard’s undergraduate experience, princeton’s academic rigor and yale’s beautiful, rich, protestant women. now add a good football team, a beautiful beach and sunny, 75+ degree weather everyday. finally, take all of this and multiply it by 50. the equation yields the greatest college on earth. some describe stanford as the academic mecca of every determined and dedicated student.

the admission process is extremely, extremely compet-tive. many students with perfect gpas and sat scores are not offered admission each and every year. with that being said, stanford becomes a touchy subject of discussion for many ivy league students because they would much rather spend their collegiate years in california.

i am still upset that i did not get in; i’m literally freezing my b-lls off at harvard and it’s the middle of april.
son: “hey dad, can you tell me what heaven looks like?”
father who was rejected by stanford: “i don’t know, son. i went to cornell.”
every girl’s favorite accessory – a gay male friend she can call up to do lunch or go shopping when her girlfriends cancel.

derived from the television series s-x and the city, in which carrie bradshaw’s gay accessory was named stanford blatch.
can’t make lunch, be-otch – where’s your stanford at?
the best computer science school, ever.
student # 4056: i’m applying to stanford, and an admission officier is viewing this right now!

student’s friend: you can’t get into stanford!

student # 4056: your mother.

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