Star-nosed Platypus
the star-nosed platypus looks like any other platypus except for the r-t-rded deformation on its cranium. it is commonly mistaken for an extremely wet and very hairy beaver. the stare-nosed is commonly found frozen in the ice flows of the antarctic during the summer solstices. do to its alarming abundance of s-x chromosomes; the star-nosed has a spectacular stamina of 30 to 40 seconds. they are constantly pestered by there main predator, the goannas (which inhabit the upper regions of south america).
their history:
the star-nosed platypus was discovered in 1000s of years ago. after consuming too much smirnoff zvonimir, an outsider from australia, managed to roll a one. in order to celebrate he rip a page out of a phone book, burned in a meager bonfire, and dance around it chanting “erect poodles make the greatest gift”. just then a razor-blade soared out of the flames and punctured his left eyeball. upset by the lost of his favorite ball he began to bash his head into the frigid ice water antarctica. once he broke though the first layer of ice he saw something lurking in the water. it was wet, hairy, and disturbing but yet oh so appealing. he thought to himself “i am so glad that i have one ball remaining, i should take advantage of my situation and experience the pleasure of a new organism”. unfortunately, after recent events involving a new breed horse, a ladder, and alarm clock, zvonimir, the only witness to the existence of that wet and hairy creature, is no longer with us today.
that d-mn star-nosed platypus ate all my cheeze-its and drank my arizona
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