Statute of Limitations

the period of time between when your homie stops liking a girl and you can hit on her without breaking the bro code.
bro 1: you like her, don’t you! bro 2: no i don’t, unless of course you don’t either, in which case i want to know the statute of limitations -tennis ball nearly misses his head-
the statute of limitations is what is limiting you from inviting over/spending time with acquaintances. after you’ve known someone for a long time, but you’ve never done anything with them, it becomes weird to invite them over. if you don’t hurry up and do something with someone you just met, the statute of limitations will run out, and then you won’t be able to.
“honey, we should invite dan and annie over for dinner! we’ve been neighbors so long and we’ve never really gotten to know them!”

“we can’t to that! it’s too late, the statute of limitations has run out.”
#too late #time #statute #acquaintance #neighbor #friend #limitations
{stat – ute – uv – lim – i – tay – shuns}:
the agreement, usually nonverbal and not always legally formalized, that occurs between husband and wife shortly after (before?) marriage. it lays out his limitations. following are some standard clauses (no, not nicholas or martha):

1. football limitation: 1 day per week
2. guys night out limitation: 1 night per month
3. trash detail limitation: none. husbands are always on trash detail
4. bikini ogling limitation: never unless it’s the wife in the bikini – or you’re certain she’ll never find out
5. alcohol intake limitation:

a. 1 gl-ss wine daily with dinner

b. 1 six-pack beer for monday night football

c. exception: 2 six-pack beer for monday night football if you

have a buddy over or the wife is feeling generous.

d. 2 large gl-sses expensive champagne – 1 time/year on anniversaries
according to the statute of limitations you can’t go to the bar tonight with fred. it’s my dinner night!
#premarital agreement #behavioral clause #statue of limitayshuns #freedom of speech (antonym) #freedom of action (antonym)