Stevens Goggles
similar to beer goggles, stevens goggles involves drinking copious amounts of liquor or beer until females (who are normally about a 3 out of 10) become unusually attractive (about a 7 out of 10). this name is derived from the technological inst-tute of higher learning in hoboken, nj, at which a very small percentage of the student body is female (~25%). of those females, only a small percentage are attractive (~5%). unlike beer goggles, the amounts of liquor required to make stevens females look reasonably decent is several orders of magnitude greater than the amount required to kill a herd of cattle.
-omfg we’re going to chug everclear, let’s toast: stevens goggles for everybody!!!!!!
-recently, a group of stevens females was seen running from a very drunk man with a harpoon gun claiming to be captain ahab. later in the evening, a group of males was seen trying to have s-x with the same girls; they appeared to all be suffering from a case of stevens goggles. the next day, three men were found drowning in their own vomit on the sidewalk outside of the dormitory.
very different from beer goggles, it is an insane amount of alcohol needed to make the stevens inst-tute of technology’s girls look like average girls. many girls believe there is a female version, but they are wrong because they are ugly females, and their opinions do not count.
guy 1: last night i had s-x with this hot girl
guy 2: no you didn’t brah, she was that smelly butch dike from your chemistry cl-ss
guy 1: f-cking stevens goggles
a term that defines the copious amounts of alcohol that must be drunk, not to make a stevens girl look more attractive, but to make a stevens male force up the courage to talk to any female in the whole d-mn room. usually results in the guy being rejected as most stevens girls are smart enough to know how not to get date-raped or ruthied.
the guy was so f-cked up from drinking that his “stevens goggles” blinded him to the fact that he kept telling the stevens girl how good he could give it to her when she could tell with one look at his drunk -ss that he had never gotten laid in his entire life.
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