Stevens Institute of Technology

1366 guys. 41 girls. 300 girls who look like guys. 1138 will make more money than you. 1138 automatically realize that the value 1138 equals 2/3 of the student population.

most common (basically only) majors: engineering, computer science, and most shunned and looked down upon major of business and technology (99% athletes, 1% idiots)

most commonly used pick up lines: “would you like to see the exponential growth of my natural log?” and “i wish i were your derivative so i could lay tangent to your curves.” most likely to be heard at a lame frat party where there are more computers than girls and mysteriously strong, yet unrealizable, alcoholic punch, which is the only hope most of these video game junkies have in getting any -ss. the whole student population could be diagnosed with having stevens’ goggles, the equal to 2 beer goggles. girls have it just as bad as the guys. the phrase: “the odds are good, but the goods are odd” is commonly heard by the female students who are often favored by faculty because of their unfortunate situation.

introverted. awkward. intelligent yet clueless. both white and black races are minorities to the asians and mid east populations. most people, especially professors, can’t speak fluent english, but since numbers, mathematical operations, and physics laws are universal, this is not seen as a problem. most of these black and white minorities attend stevens solely for athletics and make up most of the “normal” student population. the majority of this tech school only leaves their dorm rooms and video games to check their mail for new computer and video game merchandise and to attend lan parties. if you’ve never heard of a lan party, you have never been to stevens. (it is a gathering of geeks/computer gamers for the sole purpose of playing mutlti-player games over a network…and to view p-rn.) most of these typical engineers can’t hold a normal conversation, let alone make a friend other than their most trusted and valuable companion…their thumb drive, a usb m-ss storage device.

although a completely lame school, it is located in the fun and beautiful city of hoboken, less than a mile from nyc, home to many male bachelor yuppies working in the city and the most bars per square foot of any city in the world.
“i saw a girl walking down washington st and rated her a 3 out of 10. once she stepped onto stevens inst-tute of technology campus, she immediately jumped to a 9 out of 10.”