Stoughton, MA

stoughton, ma, a town about 30 minutes south of boston, neighbors canton, sharon, randolph, and brockton.

stoughton is the type of town where single, middle-aged, overweight moms with at least 3 children under the age of 4 move to when the government isn’t giving them enough money combined with their 3 fast-food jobs to move somewhere nicer, like sharon. that being said, the taxes are significantly less than sharon, which appeals to many. unfortunately, the school system sucks -ss, so parents who move into stoughton are screwed into sending their children to some fancy–ss private school, costing them more money than it would have cost them to move to sharon in the first place and get free, decent education.

stoughton is home to many portuguese, brazilian, and african american peoples. in fact, you can’t even visit the local dunkin’ donuts without hearing a barely legal brazilian woman attempt to comprehend the difference between a iced coffee and a m-ffin in the drive-thru.

nothing much happens in stoughton, besides f-cked up news stories such as beheaded swans and rabbits being found near a lake. stoughton is home to one hobo currently, although many more will probably arrive by the time you’re reading this.
bob: i really wanna move to sharon but the taxes are too high. any suggestions?
jeff: yeah, move to stoughton, ma, it kind of sucks but at least you won’t be paying money out your -ss just to live there.