Subconjunctival Hemorrhage
subconjunctival hemorrhage is a broken blood vessel in the eye caused by a lack of the following: v-g-n-l intercourse, -n-l intercourse, c-nn-l-ng-s, anilingus, kissing, flirting, fondling, hugging, and a lack of loving text messages from someone special.
the condition is self-resolving with an adequate amount of tlc from the appropriate person. preferable done away from life, for a minimum of two nights…just you and me…secluded from the world.
betty: dude, my eye… i’ve got a bad case of subconjunctival hemorrhage thanks to you.
bobby: get your naked -ss over to my house and i’ll make it better.
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