Swine Flu

something blown far out of proportion by the media and the world health organization. it’s just like the “normal” flu, excluding the fact that this swine flu does not currently have a vaccination.

the media fails to tell you that the only people who have died of this so-called “deadly” virus are:

1) mexicans with terrible health care and terrible health in general who are living in close quarters.

2) babies and old people

note that anyone who has any remote knowledge on disease knows that these types of people die from the “normal” flu, and that the swine flu isn’t some kind of deadly disease because it hasn’t killed anyone that a normal sickness wouldn’t have.

also take note of the fact that hundreds of people have gotten sick in the united states alone, and yet all of these cases were called “mild”. know that all of these “mild” cases have occurred in adults and/or teenagers, who would not die from the “normal” flu.

what also is failed to be mentioned is the fact that a “pandemic” is any disease that is spread worldwide. thus, just because the swine flu is a pandemic doesn’t mean we’ll all die. the common cold is a pandemic, and no one goes around freaking out about that.

this is another phase in the “we’re-all-gonna-die” angst in 50% of the human population. it’ll p-ss by 2010.
it was once said that pigs will fly when we have a black president. now we have the swine flu.
it’s just the f-cking flu.
idiot: we’re a dyin! da swine fluuu is gunna get cha
me: riiight 😐
an influenza that (supposedly) originated in mexico. has potential to become an epidemic. and you thought mexico had a border?
you’re f-cked.

guy 1: hey, let’s go to mexico and do drugs for the summer!
guy 2: awesome, i’ll drive!
guy 1: -cough-
guy 2: -splutter-
-swine flu kills both-
1. the only thing other than mexicans that is now attempting to cross the us border in the millions.

2. what you accuse someone of having if u hear a cough.
cnn: the swine flu came from mexico
the rest of america: no f-ckin sh-t

p-ssenger 1: cough-
p-ssenger 2: b-tch get the f-ck out of here u gots the swine flu
p-ssenger 1: ill swine flu ua -ss if u dont get the f-ck outta my face
like the bird flu, but with a pig.
do you have the bird flu?
no n-gg-h, i got the swine flu.
1. the media’s half-baked idea to cause the world to enter a state of complete pandemonium as a result of a lack of natural disasters (e.g. red river flooding) to increase viewership or readership.

2. the government’s plot to seek an alternative route to curing our economical situation by creating unnecessary drama in the field of pandemics that will supposedly spark a large creation of jobs in the cleaning product industry, and a trillion dollar profit margin, thanks in part to our gullibility as humans.

3. the hysterical hockey/soccer moms’ excuse for contributing to the closing down of schools across the country, while students come into contact with one another more often outside of school than in school. don’t tell me kids are more susceptible to dying or being harmed from the swine flu as opposed to choking on a hot dog, getting hit in the head with a baseball, or falling off of a trampoline.

4. a future michael moore doc-mentary that will be renamed “pandemic pandemonium”.

5. a pandemic that will surely result in the m-ss hatred, execution, and genocide of pigs throughout the world.
“oh, dear, bob, you’re experiencing a severe case of hysteria. that’s a symptom! you better get yourself checked in!”

“oh my, bob, you look awfully run down. are you sure you’re alright?” -presses hands to cheeks- “swine flu! everybody run!”

“bob! they’re evacuating the country to mexico! everyone’s fleeing! this is not a drill! this is a pandemic!” -tornado siren- “should i tell him that’s where it originated? nah…”
a disease characterized by a high fever, a cough, and a strong desire to f-ck in the mud.
come over here baby, i’ve got the swine flu.

←