taconic parkway
the eastern bluebird is ny’s state bird
“i love new york” is ny’s state song
the taconic parkway is ny’s official state embarr-ssment
the tsp: paved country road? highway? ufo landing site? n-body seems to know or can make up their mind. apparently green-lighted back when ny’s politicians could literally commission anything. now people navigate this reportedly paved conundrum consumed with questions worthy of a b-grade horror movie.
why did they put rain grates practically in the middle of the road? why do speed b-mp-like protrusions inexplicably cross large stretches of the roadway? why does america’s most heavily-taxed state have a major roadway that makes post-2003 iraqi infrastructure look good? where does the money go??? did it fall into the road when a chunk of the last 4 pavings randomly gave way? why does a trackless road need so much —-ing maintenance? such is the riddle that is the taconic state parkway
guy #1: hey, let’s take the taconic
guy #2: sh-t sonne, the last time i took the taconic, my car fell into a 20ft pothole and they had to pull it out with a crane.
guy #1: can you do 150mph on 9?
guy #2: truuuuu!
translation the taconic parkway sucks goats on a hot day, but dammit it’s the fastest way upstate.
crazy no-trucks allowed road leading north out of nyc that pre-dates the interstate highway system in america.
originally comissioned by fdr when he was governor of ny state so he could get from manhattan to his house in the adarondack (sp?) area in half the time.
narrow as all h-ll, no sholder, cops pull you over onto the gr-ss next to the trees.
extremely fun to drive really, really fast at night.
has evil drainage grates in the left hand lane that will knock your car out of alignment.
a quicker way to get out of nyc to new hampshire/vt. if you want to avoid evil i-95.
i nearly wrapped my car around a tree going 90 on the taconic. it was rad.
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