Taser

a “less than lethal” weapon used to incapacitate a person without killing them. generally used by police. fires two barbed pr-ngs up to twenty feet which then penetrate the skin and deliver an extremely painful shock causing the perosn to fall to loose control of their muscles, fall to the ground and do the cr-ppie flop and sometimes p-ss themselves.
cop: hey sh-tbag. you’re under arrest, turn around and put your hands behind your back.

sh-tbag: f-ck you pig. you better call for back-up

cop: takes out taser and repeats his order.

sh-tbag: f-ck you:

cop: shoots sh-tbag with taser and laugh’s while sh-tbag does the cr-ppei flop on the ground.

sh-tbag: (after he regains control of his muscles) rolls over and puts his hands behind his back to be handcuffed while complaining about how bad it hurt and he p-ssed himself.

cop: laughs hysterically while handcuffing sh-tbag.
although the word “taser” is not an acronym, one particular model is labeled as: tactical system of electrical response.
sort of completes the pantheon of great acronyms. or somthing like that.
scenario 1-
police officer: “halt eveil-doer, lest i be forced to use my tactical system of elictrical rosponse upon ye!”

criminal: “huh?”

scenario 2:

police officer: “freeze sc-mbag!!” -sound of taser firing-

criminal: “aaaaaagghhhh!”
a taser is a small handheld device used for shocking. it emits small and relatively harmless amounts of electricity, but still a little painful.
well, john was being an idiot so i pulled my taser and shocked him.
t: teaching
a: africans
s: self
e: earned
r: respect
cop: i’m in foot pursuit of a black male.

when the cop catches up.

-tick tick tick tick- taser goes on to dirtbag…
they are hand-held weapons that deliver a jolt of electricity — up to 50,000 volts — from up to 10.6 metres away. the shot can penetrate up to five centimetres of clothing.

it stuns the target by causing an uncontrollable contraction of the muscle tissue. he/she is immobilized and falls to the ground — regardless of pain tolerance or mental focus.

taser stands for thomas a. swift electric rifle, from the tom swift series of children’s novels written in the early 20th century, including tom swift and his electric rifle. the real stars of the series of science-fiction novels were potential advances in technology.

from “cbc news”
canadian police say tasers have saved 4,000 lives since police forces started using them in this country in 1999.
a p-n-s enlarger for law enforcement officials. seem to be used more often than necessary, sometimes by off duty cops at parties with their friends.
isn’t it bullsh-t that civilian tasers aren’t as powerful as the police models? this is why i have my ccw and carry with hollowpoints. also, i fear the day when gangs discover tasers and start using them on innocent people.
a valuable tool for police when dealing with uncooperative sh-t bags, as can be seen in this priceless video:

http://www.wimp.com/ladytasered
i never laughed so hard in my life, did you see that uppity sack of cr-p go from tough talking bad-ss to sqealing crybaby? man that video is funny!

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