Tawanako
the tawanako is a rare and terrifying animal found only in tropical regions. it was discovered by a small group of explorers, the commander of which was sir arthur george c clementine the second. he discovered it in 1904 in tropical rain forests of borneo. since then it has been sited throughout the equatorial jungles of the world.
from people’s descriptions it has a hunched long neck, large bird like beak, reptilian eyes, a mohawk of feathers across the head, large hands and feet, feathery wings and is bipedal (walks on two legs).
from the journal of sir arthur george c clementine the second, reporting during the august expedition into borneo:
august 21st
1904
this morning one of the guides came screaming into my tent, in quite a to-do. he spoke excitedly to me in his heathen native tongue, and i had to wake my translator in the adjoining tent. the native explained to the translator he had sighted something terrible, something monstrous, in the up-lands. the creature the translator could only describe as- tawanakani- tawanakoto- i really cannot be sure what it was he was saying. i organized a contingent of explorers, and we set off after a spot of tea.
after many tiring hours trekking through the dense underbrush, we reached the sight where the guide claimed to have spotted this beast. i firmly believed we were just hunting some big lizard, the likes of which i see almost daily around the camp. the area we came to had been flattened by some enormous weight, but it could have been made by any of the borneo wildlife.
that’s when an ungodly stench filled my nostrils. the pack-animals panicked, and the guides fled, leaving me and the other explorers abandoned. i carefully loaded my rifle, as a deathly quiet fell over the clearing. then something moved, causing the trees to shiver. then it came. a monstrosity among a world of monsters, the creature broke into the clearing, screaming and barking, it’s talons flailing wildly. i kept a cool head, however, and fired at the monster twice. whilst neither bullet seemed to hit the thing, the gun-shots startled the monster, and it fled back into the scrub. i now fear to go to sleep, lest the beast manages to track us back to camp.
Read Also:
- doobie time
1. time for the smoking or rolling of a doobie, (joint, marijuana cigarette). 2. time spent smoking said doobie. i just got a bo of kb, you’ve got to try this, it’s definately doobie time. or: i have to get ready for work…doobie time. or: amanda: is it doobie time yet? daniel: not yet, i […]
- Teadious
teadious – the feeling you get listening to tea party candidates as they take any steaming horsesh-t of an idea, stick a flag or a cross in it, and call it cake. i was listening to the reid-angle debate last night – that angle is f-cking teadious.
- Douche Dispenser
the act of dispensing used douches excessively (a.k.a. total f-ggot, likes p-n-s) john: dude i was watching the jonas brothers on tv the other day bob:ya so? john:i came to the conclusion that they are total douche dispensers! john:they dispense douches! what f-ggots!
- Indie Strut
the movement performed by indie rock bands such as tokyo police club and foals. this movement consists of bobbing ones head while playing ones instrument whilst tapping the right foot. i went to the tokyo police club show yesterday and the lead singer looked s-xy doing his s-xy indie strut.
- batawaa
an overexageration of the term “wha” only to be used in incredibly unbealivable situations normal situation “hey todd?” “what?” incredibly unbealivable situation “hey todd” “what” “i know shes like seven but…me and your sis… “batawaa”