telescope

one of many euphemistic terms for a p-n-s. most famously used in this context in the big bang theory episode, “the boyfriend complexity.” in that episode, howard and raj accidentally kissed each other in the control room for a telescope. the next day, when leonard casually asked howard and raj what had happened, both of them freaked out, even though leonard hadn’t heard about the kiss.
(from the big bang theory)

-sheldon and leonard are at the table in the cafeteria. raj joins them.-

leonard: oh, how’d it go last night?

raj: oh, you know, same old same old. looked through a telescope, saw some stars, big move.

leonard: really? you waited months for a time with that telescope. what happened?

raj: why? you writing a book?

sheldon: i’m going to propose a hypothesis. last night, raj accidentally made contact with an alien civilization, and has been ordered by the united states government to keep it a secret.

raj: nothing happened! can we please just change the subject?!

sheldon: that sounds rehe-rs-d. we are not alone.

-howard walks over to the table.-

howard: hey.

leonard: hey.

sheldon: h-llo.

howard: hey.

raj: hey.

leonard: you get to play with raj’s big telescope last night?

-howard and raj both react with shock.-

howard: where’d that come from?!

raj: he never touched my telescope!!

howard: way to go shutting up!

raj: i did shut up, now you shut up!

howard: fine!

raj: thank you!

raj: i can’t believe you didn’t call me this morning.
a great instrument used to spy on s-xy ladies getting dressed.
try watching a s-xy girl get dressed with a telescope.
putting your eye to the end of a p-n-s as the guy c-ms into your eye and you keep it there until it goes soft.
jane saw that ben was hard and said “do you want to telescope”, ben unzipped his trousers.
putting a gl-ss cup, preferably clear, up a girls v-g-n- or -ss, and using the bottom of the cup to magnify the inside of the v-g-n- or -ss.
hey baby, mind if i use my special telescope!
a mythical creature, one with large molar teeth and a scally forehead. famed for the killing of little girls with the famous ‘get alice’ machine.
‘telascope, on the side, get alice!!!’
‘ah f-ck!’
‘where is waterpistol?’