texting

1. an invention that allows people, usually in their teenage years, to talk to more than one of their “friends” at once

2. the reason kids don’t learn as much at school…except maybe a better way of not getting caught using your phone.

3. something the majority of people over the age of forty can’t seem to figure out.

4. the easiest way for you to ignore someone that you don’t want to talk to.. as opposed to refusing their phone calls.

5. something parents hate you to do all the time, but what we can’t stop doing.
1. rachel: hey hoe whats crackin’?

cheryl: hey sl-t i’m just texting like 400 different people at the same time.

2. mother: hey sweetie, what did you learn at school today?

child: -click click click-…what? sorry…oh nothing

mother: nothing?

child: uhhh…nope?

3. adult: godd-mnit! how in all h-ll does this work!?!?

teenager: -sigh- omg. wtf? y dont u no how to work it? its so ez

4. person you don’t know but somehow has your number: hey you.

you: -delete message-… what message?

5. kevin: -laughs to self about a text he just recently recieved-

parent: what are you laughing at?

kevin: nothing

parent: you’re kidding me right? are you texting again?!??!

kevin: …

parent: why don’t u just call them? you have a phone for a reason…if you wanted a keyboard i would have gotton you that!

kevin:…
-walks out of room and continues to text-
the common practice of typing messages on a cell phone to recipients, rather than just just take the twelve seconds to call someone. most often performed by teenage girls, these messages often include such front page news as: “omg did u c her @ss? itz hge” or perhaps the ever-popular “wtf? dani just broke up wit james!!!11!”

these messages are often life-changing, as it seems that n-body ever actually speaks to one another anymore.

my favorite example of the texting is when a teenage girl is driving, head bent down facing her cell phone, as she texts while in traffic. young teenage girls are considered the best drivers, so surely something as simple as texting would never take away from their near-perfect driving skills. this is often proven by the practice of never using turn signals, as telling katelyn about when to pick her up at the mall is way more important than letting the cars behind you know that you are about to cross three lanes of traffic.

all in all, perhaps a few head-on collisions and loss of driving privileges will be a good little lesson to the self-absorbed teenagers of today.
texting girl driver: lyk omg did u c twilight yet? itz so freakin kill!

-sound of cars skidding to a halt and 5 car pileup-

texting girl driver: oh my bad. srry bout dat.
the act of sending a mobile phone to mobile phone message of text instead of talking; the contraction of words “text” and “messageing” with the apostrophe dropped through consistent use as a word
i prefer texting my friends instead of calling to communicate more efficiently.
life support for teenage children
laura: -grrbalghgb-
mich-lle: oh sh-t, laura is going into socioshock! quick somebody get her a texting!!!
dumbest sh-t ever, just call -sshole.
some dipsh-t was texting me about his whole weekend, it would have been a three minute phone conversation if he called.
a recently facinating type of communication by cellular devices that everyone; and i mean everyone seems to be using. apparently it’s mentally &, physically addictive; much like s-x….or mysp-ce. mainly consists of a few shortened words that often have no meaning what-so-ever.
a texting conversai is sually somewhere along these lines:

“ayyye”
“h-llo.”
“wad up”
“the ceiling, you f-cktard.”
“lyk omfg, u dont got 2 b so b-tchy”
“i wouldn’t be, if you learned to use proper english.”
“fck u”
“yeah, up yours!”
a dumb way to communicate. true. you can talk to several people at one time, but most of the converstaions are entierly useless. a pansy way to break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend and ask someone out. teenagers use it to worsen their english skills except for a few smart ones. easier than a phone call sometimes, but also taxing and dumb. a phone is supposed to be used to call people, not type.
(1)

katie- (texting) u rlly r a gr8 guy but i dnt s us gowen newhere
john-(texting) can you just call me? it would be so much easier.
katie-(texting) na i dnt wana hear u cry over da phone txten is easir.
john-(texting) you’re such a r-t-rd. you can barely talk. (tries to call)
katie-(ignores and starts to text) u -ss.

(2)
a bunch of friends sitting at taco bell. one guy gets mad at his friend for a stupid joke. he drives off, p-ssed. sends text message to girl saying, “u b-tch! i cant believe u said dat!
girl-(texts back) ….di d you seriously just drive off and text me?

←