The Epiphany Club
you are a member of the epiphany club if you were born in the twelve days before or after christmas (13th dec – 6th jan). membership of the epiphany club bestows some, if not all, of the following benefits:-
• people forget your birthday completely
• people will not buy you a christmas / birthday present (delete as appropriate), opting instead to buy you ‘one big present’ which never is.
• n-body will want to attend a birthday party or go out on your birthday as they’re too busy / broke / partied out / away visiting family. however will often say, “we will have a second birthday party in the summer” (which never materialises). there is an exception for those born on new years eve who do get to go out and party but attendees do it for the wrong reason.
• your birthday presents (if you get one (see above)) will be wrapped in christmas paper and the gift giver will apologise saying, “i couldn’t find any birthday wrapping paper and had a lot of that instead”
i was born on christmas day and get all the benefits of being a member of the epiphany club.
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