The Holidays

a period of roughly six weeks, lasting from the end of november to some time in january. it includes a number of religious holidays, traditional celebrations, and family visits. it is generally accepted to be both the best part of the year (for people under the age of fifteen) and the worst part of the year (for people over the age of fifteen).

includes: thanksgiving, hannukah, advent, christmas eve, christmas day, the winter solstice, st. nick’s day, kwanzaa, boxing day, new year’s eve, new year’s day, winter break (for students), and a number of others.

sometimes used (as “happy holidays”) as a politically correct (race, creed, and nationality-neutral) phrase on cards and decorations.

also known as “international muzak month” due to the unwavering propensity of shopping establishments to -ssault their customers’ ears with instrumental version of “do you hear what i hear,” “jingle bell rock,” and “white christmas” for the entire six-week period.
if i hear “the little drummer boy” one more time, i swear i’m going to snap. i didn’t mind this as a kid, but ever since i turned fifteen, boy! i hate the holidays.