The Hoskins
the morally repugnant, visually deplorable, and physically gruesome act of engaging in s-xual intercourse with an extremely robust woman who was most likely the failed genetic offspring of a reproductive scientist’s attempt to crossbreed rosie o’donnell, an amazonian manatee, a naked mole rat, chris farley, and a blobfish. often, doing “the hoskins” is caused by ingesting m-ssive amounts of alcohol, poor friendship, and a serious psychological defect which allows the perpetrator to push past the normal threshold where an average person would succ-mb to violent puking seizures and the complete retraction of the male reproductive organs inside the body (as a turtle does when danger is near).
additionally, “the hoskins” may refer to a dance move in which an individual outstretches their arms in a semi-circular fashion (as if trying to give a bear hug), bends their knees, and furiously thrusts their pelvis at a number of different speeds and angles. “the back brace” is a popular variation of “the hoskins” in which the dancer places one hand upon the lower back while making facial expressions that indicate severe pain and discomfort.
jim: “hey don, did you hear about m.j. last weekend? he did ‘the hoskins’!!!”
don: “that sick f-cker. i wouldn’t do the hoskins with someone else’s d-ck and the ability to erase memories!”
or
girl 1: “what is that guy doing over there?”
girl 2: “i think he’s doing “the hoskins” with the back brace variation.”
girl 1: “that is sooo s-xy. i wish someone would teach me how to do “the hoskins”!
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