The Ilker
the ilker (latin; ilkerus) is a unique, socially awkward creature, rarely sighted. the ilker is in its natural habitat (latin; habitus) in london’s deepest and darkest hipster locations, and is therefore reported to have been seen by hipsters themselves, more commonly known as h-m-s-xuals. the ilker’s main source of food comes from j-panese running-sushi restaurants, where he is believed to feed itself mostly with vast amounts of sashimi, which it so desperately needs in order to survive. scientists all over the world have not yet fully understood this rare phenomenon, as research and data gathering about its behavioral patterns is difficult to obtain. the who has released in a statement presented to the un last fall where they ask anyone who ever gets sight of the ilker not to approach it, as it has been drawn parallels with the common northern-african gazelle, due to the fact that the ilker will, if he senses danger, jump inside an uber and disappear into the night.
“hey dude, i think i saw the ilker last night”
“did you catch it?”
“no man, i tried to have s-x with it and it ran away…”
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