The Old Nolan

the exploits of nolan, a man who’s s-xual prowess, ability to consume large amounts of alcohol, and the deeds he performs during these bouts of intoxication have made him famous around the world. the legend of “the old nolan” is an act that occurs when a man and a woman are having -n-l s-x while in the shower. the act happens when a man pounds his woman partner so hard that she loses control of her bowls during the mans recoil (the backward momentum of a gun when discharged), leaving fecal matter on the shower floor. the t-rd must then be disposed of so the man makes the woman perform the drain stomp to force the p–p down the drain, having a similar effect to making spaghetti out of play-doh. luckily this occurs in the shower which results in momentary disgust and immediate clean-up.
we were both all sweaty after having wild animalistic s-x, so we moved into the shower. things picked up again and i ended up stickin my flesh musket into her mud tunnel, next thing i know i’m pulling out and she defecated on the floor. it was then that i realized that i’ve just joined the ranks of elite group of men who have successfully performed the old nolan.