The SMIC Private School

international school in shanghai notoriously known for being ghetto and small. walls fall apart, desks and chairs are vandalized and destroyed by students, many facilities are third world, and lunch doesn’t even qualify for fourth-world. yet students still make the best out of it and have an awesome time. you can call each grade “one big happy family” since everybody knows each other and it’s not as clique-y as most high schools are. but then again, people are split into the “fobby, chinese speaking people” and the “american, english speaking people”

cl-ss of 2013 was the last athletic cl-ss of the school. instead of basketball, volleyball, and all the other generally awesome sports, the cl-sses of 2014 and beyond invest their time in ping pong, tag, and capture the flag

students do not portray the typical stereotypes of average high schools. people can be dopplegangers of themselves; at one point they’ll be a nerd and then afterschool they’ll be one of the best players on a varsity team. while dating does happen, it’s rarer than a vegetarian lion. racism runs rampant, though mainly cause of the 99.99% asian population. with almost no white, black, brown, or (insert color) people, students are free to joke about other races at their leisure. on that note, pretty much everyone speaks fluent chinese (except this freckled girl)

the school mascot is the shark. smic’s awesome. don’t let anyone ever tell you different. those people are just losers without school spirit.
there was this legendary asian guy who went to the smic private school, who unfortunately had to leave after his freshman year.
the ultimate underdog school with asians taking up 99.99% of the student body. the remaining 0.01% are the pelachiars and markoffs.

the it department needs funds but being the underdog school means students can still survive with slow internet and the aging lenovo computers. the printers always run out of ink so students can be seen using that excuse when asked to turn in homework.

the athletic department is top notch. h. canfield is the boss. he’s organized, efficient, and very friendly. he makes the effort of showing up at every single home or away game, may it be soccer, volleyball, basketball or badminton. he is definitely the best a.d. in shanghai. b. bates, the man. this guy gets stuff done. don’t be fooled by his looks. he is the best coach, teacher, father-figure, friend you can find. he never lets his kids down and will stand up for them no matter what. coolest teacher at the school.

students usually complain about the tough material but all of them end up loving s. han and thank her for those h-ll years. r. cabanos is nice but don’t mess with the man. he will rip your head off if you take advantage of his kindness. his brownies are to die for.

the school is slowly falling apart because of the administration screw but the great teachers who are still there are the ones keeping it together.
i went to the smic private school because it was cheaper than sas/biss/ycis/scis/shs/concordia/dulwich/german school. i got a real education, i dated my best friend’s ex-boyfriends, and now i’m f-cked cause i don’t know what it’s like in the real world.
smic is a great school to go to if you like freezing in the winter, burning in the summer, having windows break without touching them, eating food that has some serious health problems, and much more. there was no air conditioning; we had a load of broken ac machines though! the student population is 97% asians, 3% white, and 0% black.

the cafeteria and its food was seriously disgusting. the rat on the ceiling made my day. they changed it this year, but the last 12 years were nasty noodles, chicken head popcorn chicken (inedible by the way), oily junk food that is in the both the literal sense and figurative sense. the scr-ps were given to the guard dogs who have disappeared some time ago. rumor had it that they were killed until an american teacher let it out that he ate them. it was his first and “last” time to eat dog meat.

in sports news, they have a great basketball team. legendary basketball coach cabanos once said, “i’m now trying to be the first high school basketball team in shanghai to reach 100 points. that’s no easy task when the games end when there is a difference in 30 points. in order to reach 100, we let the other team score the points for one full minute each and every quarter.” the rest of the time, the team barely ever not have their hands on their ball(s). the gym was a ghetto place held up by heavy-duty tape; the floor was horrible until they finally replaced it. something actually good.
the place where nerd-athlete can be used to describe someone.
kid 1: just finished cleaning the whole wing of the school.
kid 2: why? you got a detention?
kid 1: no, it’s the smic private school, we have to clean up, the ayis (cleaners) sit and watch.

student (born after 2000): how old is this computer?
teacher: older than you.

teacher: how many of us live in the ghetto outside?
30% of the hands raise up.
teacher: so which one of you sprayed the toilets (a third of which are just irrigated holes in the ground) with spraypaint?