The Ten Commuffments


the ten comm-ffments

and the m-ff spoke all these words, saying: “i am m-ff!”

one: you shall have no other m-ffs before me.

two: you shall not make yourself a carved m-ff–any likeness of anything that is in m-ff heaven above, or that is in the m-ff beneath, or that is in the m-ff under the earth.

three: you shall not take the name of the m-ff in vain.

four: remember the m-ff day, to keep it m-ffy.

five: honor your m-ff’s.

six: you shall not murder m-ff.

seven: you shall not commit adultery on m-ff.

eight: you shall not steal m-ff.

nine: you shall not bear false witness against your m-ff.

ten: you shall not covet your m-ff’s house; you shall not covet your m-ff, nor the m-ff’s partner, nor the m-ff servant, nor his m-ffiest of m-ffs, nor his m-ffets, nor his m-ffins, nor his m-ffings, nor his m-ffed m-ff, nor his m-ff m-ffs, nor his m-ffism ways, nor his m-ff monster, nor his m-ff cheese, nor his m-ffdoctor, nor his m-ffdiver, nor anything that is your m-ff’s.
m-ff: live life by the code of m-ffism.

joe jerk off: how do i do that?

m-ff: start by reading the ten comm-ffments…

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