theatre major
contrary to popular belief, theatre is a very serious major. bfa students in performance and production work all day, all night, and all weekend to perfect their artforms, and mount shows. it takes b-lls to be a theare major – particularly an acting major. the average salary of unionized actors is $12 500 a year. you’ve really gotta love what you do to live in such squalor.
b.a. english student: hey, you wanna come get drunk tonight?
theatre major: it’s tuesday…
b.a. english: yeah man, i don’t have cl-ss til 2:30 tomorrow.
theatre major: i have cl-ss at 7 am.
b.a. english: huh?!
theatre major: i’m an acting major.
major you pick when you want to party through college on your daddy’s money. legitimized by the fact that something like 0.01% of theatre majors might get a guest spot as a dead person on csi.
irma: why man do we ‘doth bestride the narrow world as a…
random guy: i said no ketchup on my burger! no ketchup!!
irma: to be or not to be?
random guy: d— theatre majors.
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