ThickNasty

a bear-woman who suffers from bigorexia and has a batman type walk in closet with thousands of yoga tank tops and sweatpants. she will often appear to be bearing her teeth in a “dog-growl” face, but do not take offense, as this is how she smells her surroundings prior to opening her mouth and slobber-speaking something offensive and yet still self-promoting. a “thick nasty” can always be heard when on the move as they pound their poor lower extremities into the ground beneath them as if they were drilling for bacon flavored oil. it is not yet known what the breeding schedule of “thick nasty” is, but if you find yourself within proximity to one when she does, it is safest to distance you and your loved ones as building foundations have been known to give out and collapse. do not feed a “thick nasty” if you see one in the wild (everett, ma) , her penchant for sweet treats will most likely translate into a uncomfortable conversation that may or may not result in your seeing the explosive death of several over dried articles of yoga clothing.
thicknasty: “uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh uuuuugh”
human man: “hey there, could i offer you a refreshing orangina and an apple?”
thicknasty: “do you like my thexy body??”
human man: ” oh no! excuse me, i thought you were something else….let me just keep on walking on ov…”
thicknasty: “aaaaaaaargh i axxed you if you lake ma thexy body”
human man: “jesus christ, everett m-ss sucks…..”
of exceptional quality
these hot pockets are thicknasty, i could eat them for every meal forever.
poor. smells of goo
hey, that week old grandads toothpaste tastes all rough and thicknasty 🙁