Timonium
timonium is a place bombarded with private schools and public schools(that may as well be private). if ya wanna go out to eat, head to padonia station cuz they serve the best wings around! panera or mcdonalds are the perfect meeting spots before the big parties. and no, these are not any ordinary parties…gigantic homes are packed with kids from loyola, st.pauls, maryvale, ndp, and dulaney. no, we don’t go for the cheap beer, we drink coctails and corona. collars popped are a must and lacrosse games are a major attraction. if ya gotta work, snoasis or jay’s shaved ice are the places to go. hott girls and hott guys can be found while you’re cruising up and down york road in your lifted red jeep, beamer, or land rover.
guy: timonium, where’s that?
girl: that’s where i’m from…
guy: well that must be one h-ll of a place
a quiet place in maryland just north of towson. often referred to by native marylanders as “tim-eau-nee-um” as if one is speaking through the nose. york road runs through this city, which is host to numerous accidents due to incompetent drivers who flip out because it’s drizzling outside. it is also home to the maryland fairgrounds, where the annual maryland state fair as well as numerous craft and gun shows take place.
“so, you’re from timonium? what’s that like?”
“nothing. like nothing at all. ’cause that’s what there is there.”
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