ToastedBagels


a fabulous internet-writer with wit dryer than antarctica and talent greater than the majority of internet-writers. perhaps one of the few with a chance at harry styles, the writer with the alias of ‘toasted bagels,’ is also known as kate.
“she’s so talented, she must be some embodiment of toastedbagels.”
the sh-t residue around a protruded -sshole, typically found after being vigorously f-cked and/or fisted .
he loves when i smear my cream cheese on his toasted bagel after i pull out.

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    contest in which two people jack off onto pieces of toast. the winner is who ever jacks off first. the looser then eats the winner’s toast (with c-m on it). what kind of contest involves food and masturbation? a toast off.

  • to blimp

    to put on prodigious weight; to become m-ssively obese; to blow up (not explode) at her wedding, the bride said, “as a condition for accepting this ring, i promise never to blimp on you.” she blimped herself into a trailer park elephant fart breath sow.

  • toddleby

    a child who is quickly burgeoning from baby to toddler; of or pertaining to a toddler/baby my toddleby keeps pulling the keys out of my purse and throwing them onto the ground.

  • to donkey-head someone

    to fool someone. it comes from tom & jerry cartoon where tom used to get fooled by jerry having his head turn into a donkey-like head to donkey-head someone: dude 1-hey u know i just got a winning lottery ticket!! dude 2-how the heck do u know it’s a winning ticket? dude 1-those guys sold […]

  • toehill

    a crazy guy toehill chased us for 6 miles


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