toddler
tiny bipolar humans under the age of 3, who can swing rapidly between endearingly cute antics and screaming, kicking, biting fits of rage. completely unpredictable and often unintelligible lovable little walking blessings/nightmares disguised as tiny human beings with giant heads. pr-ne to selective hearing and repeating overheard curse words at inopportune moments. more dangerous when traveling in packs. evolutionarily speaking, it is ridiculous that humans have the ability to reproduce fast enough to be the parent of more than one toddler at a time.
“do you think you’ll have more children?” “well, even if i survive my two toddlers, f-ck no!” (did i just say that out loud?) “chloe, don’t repeat that at grandma’s!”
the act of making someone look like a toddler. most commonly -ssociated with fifa when one player dribbles another player’s defence, or scores a very nice or fancy goal
d-mn, my skills made your defence look like a bunch of toddlers
little children who are not oldenough to talk back and give you att-tude. cute and gives you a reason to relive your childhood and “not” look stupid!
tristan is a well behaved todler.
1. a child between the ages of 1 and 3.
2. someone who can not walk very well.
your grandpa is a toddler.
person who wears oversized clothes, is fascinated by shiny things, and is in desperate need of a father figure. weirdly obsessed with pimped out cartoon characters.
why does that toddler have a cz tweety bird chain when he makes minimum wage bagging groceries?
somebody tell that toddler his xxxl elmo-as-scarface airbrushed t-shirt is not cool.
(noun) a hand job so bad you can’t even get your d-ck hard, the girl treats your d-ck similar to the way a young child shakes a rattle
guy 1: dude i took betty home and she gave me a toddler.
guy 2: really?
guy 1 : yeah i didnt c-m or anything it was awful, she gripped my d-ck too hard and beat the f-ck out of it.
unbleivably annoying creature that isn’t much good for anything but to annoy people. they are also there for us to catch them early so they don’t grow up to be preps.
i was about ready to slap the sh-t out of that toddler sitting in front of me.
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