toledo

a city dying faster then a bullet can move. toledo has been run to the ground by its 2 wonderful mayors (finkf-ggot and jack ford). this city has been rated one of the worst cities to live in america on many different lists. its a giant f-cking sh-thole.

i live here. run
get the f-ck out of toledo
a place that should be avoided at all costs. if you are here, move out. the job market is very poor. it is nearly impossible to advance your career, or get a job that is not minimum wage or less than $25k per year. the people here are very shallow. you cannot carry on a conversation with anyone if it does not involve drinking, sports, or which beer joint you will be hanging out in tonight. the downtown is a lifeless concrete nightmare, full of vacant buildings and run down homes. there is 5/3 field, which is about the only good thing there. the general lack of unique things to see and do here without the “been there done that” feeling is appalling. the weather is cold, dreery, rainy, cloudy, and oppressively humid in the summer. perpetual road construction. i-280 is in year 36 of construction.
(1)toledo is the armpit of ohio.

absolutely the worst place in the world! this is a city where the citizens b-tch about high taxes, but yet vote in tax levys such as the zoo, tarta, and metroparks. oh yeah, they also keep voting in the same politicians who cut city services while raising taxes. not to mention the politicians are f-cking morons. the defeatocrat party has tight reigns on the city for the last 50 years. yet 75,000jobs and well over 100,000 people left the city, yet somehow they keep getting reelected. if you ever live in toledo, please do not send your child to public schools there. the schools are only slightly better than detroit’s and the school board constantly asks voters for more taxes, which the dumb-sses of toledo give them. yet most of the kids in these schools can’t graduate. toledo has been called a wonderful place to raise a family by a lot of its citizens. why not, its has everything a family needs. vacant homes, strip clubs, old factories, bad schools, crumbling infrastructure, “smart politicians”, and plenty of drug dealers. note: should you ever go to the east side of toledo beware! not only are the entire neighborhoods rotting, but there are gangs, drug dealers, and prost-tutes. there is also a huge sun oil plant right in the middle of the east side area. thus, between the drugs and inbreeding east siders do, combined with the oil refinery, east siders look worse than something out of deliverance. but some east siders think its a great place to live in toledo. about the only good thing to do in all of toledo: pack up and get the f-ck out!!!!!
guy 1: i am from toledo!

guy 2: oh! i am so sorry!
toledo is a large city in ohio. which is full of possiblities and opportunity. toledo is best known for makeing jeeps and gl-ss. toledo is uber cool, i would know i live in it.
(rob) i’m going to toledo.
(bob) ohio?
(rob) ya.
(bob) dude!!!!!! that place rocks!!
(rob) i know!!!!!
a combination of an alligator and a torpedo. it has it’s teeth removed, and then loaded into an attack submarine. at this time it is fired from the submarine in a torpedo-like fashion, fast and powerful. with it’s de-teethed mouth, it eats all the broccoli in the ocean.
“holy toledo!!”
to be in possession of everyday bad breath, that allows chronic halitosis to the extreme, appear to be “post dental cleaning mouth”, when other people first glimpse or are irrevocably soiled….aka…(breathed upon) or have offended both the one and only almighty righteous higher power and satan himslelf,the instantaneouse thought that bulldozes itself through the cerebral cortex is one of abject disgust, self loathing, a complete and utter degredation of the known universe and or potential suicidal thoughts. when every single person unlucky enought to share personal sp-ce with you….post your breath searing and destroying their nasal cavities thinks….holy cr-p batman….the breath of that individual is a pristine example of toledo….and i’m not speaking of the city in ohio….!!!!!
josue: “cough…cough….gag…gag….barf…barf….jusus christ jose…your breath reeks as if you have been injesting burning garbage, raw feces, used tires and recently deceased newborn children…….d-mn…you my compadre and all…..but yo breath makes toledo look like a fresh egg roll from p.f. chang’s…d-mn b-tch…maybe you should gargle with some jp-5……perhaps jet fuel will get the sk-nk out of yo mouth….”!!!!!
in a state in which half of the economy is already based off lebron james, toledo is the shining star crowning the christmas tree of poverty and despair. although the city has a population nearing 300,000, no more than 6 of its citizens actually want to live in toledo, and the rest of the population has been held hostage by communist overlords at the university of toledo since a coup de tat in 2002. the misery of the hostages is so m-ssive, it influences the weather to be gloomy, rainy, and, for lack of better terminology, sh-tty year round. the terrible weather serves as a natural barrier to prevent any outsiders from coming to save the native toledans from hostile subjection, making the grave situation even more hopeless. foreign aid has debated on making a rescue attempt, but when they sat down to discuss the matter, they realized the people of toledo kinda suck anyway.

the people of toledo communicate mostly through their battle cries. for those unfamiliar with toledan battle cries, they are similar to the sound of a thousand f-cking car alarms. the most popular cult ritual battle cry begins with the clan elite saying “tol”. after the apex unit begins the chant, his or her grunts respond with “edo”, signaling that they are ready for combat. the best course of action upon hearing this ritual is to respond to the alpha’s signal and attempt to blend in to the underlings.
person 1: hey where do you want to go for vacation?

person 2: not toledo