tomtomlonghammer


a term that denotes an ackkward fellow with pigeon toes, slightly cross eyed, and large in stature. tomtomlonghammer is an ancient native american name that means p-ssy destroyer. typically a tomtomlonghammer is over 6ft 3inches tall and equally as awkward. he is know for his ability to cause intense s-xual arousal to those around him. the term longhammer pays tribute to the ungodly size of his p-n-s. a tomtomlonghammer is always well endowed; 13 inches is not uncommon, with a typical girth approximating a large cuc-mber. when a tomtomlonghammer walks his balance is drastically impacted by his pigeon toes. his large longhammer, in essence, serves as a counter weight the swings back-and-forth between his legs, offsetting his uneven gait. thus, genetic researchers believe that the size of his p-n-s is a genetic adaptation that allows him to walk upright. when a tomtomlonghammer is angry, typically he goes cross eyed, pull his pants down around his ankles, and begins to m-st-rb-t- while screaming “bangladore” at the top of his lungs.
d-mn, look at that dude over there. he’s hung like a horse, he must be a tomtomlonghammer.

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