Toocan Sam

1-toocan sam: a very mangy bird that lives in the jungle, and leads innocent unsuspecting children into the jungle in search of sugary cereal…claiming that if you “follow his nose” that will in some way actually lead you to the god d-mn cereal; however, the only thing these kids ever get is bitten by thousands of jungle in insects and the occasional jungle lion….leaving them with no cereal, infectious wounds and a hatred of all things that fly.

2-toocan sam: an alcoholic drink.
ingredients:

– 3/4 oz spiced rum (captain morgan’s)
– 3/4 oz triple sec
– 3/4 oz blue curacao
– 3/4 oz coconut rum (parrot bay)
– 3 oz pineapple juice
– lace with grenadine

mixing instructions:

in a shaker half filled with ice, add first 5 ingredients. shake well. strain into hurricane gl-ss filled with ice. lace with grenadine.
for the love of god! that bird said to follow his nose to the cereal and now we’re lost in the jungle and i’m scared and cold, so very cold…..i say it’s time to eat the fat kid of the group or we’ll never survive….d-mnnnn youu toocan sam!

i say, this toocan sam the barkeep made tastes like sh-t. i swear, there’s no spiced rum in it at all…tastes rather like s-m-n to me.
a girl named jess stevens with a big nose and nice t-ts.
hey look its toocan sam. caw caw