topdeck

in trading card games, the act of drawing a particular (usually game-winning or at least loss-avoiding) card through pure chance.
he had me down to two life, but i topdecked a platinum angel he couldn’t get rid of for the win.
verb: “to top deck”.

to “top deck” is to defocate into the cistern of a toilet. the cistern is the water-filled tank often found above the toilet seat, near the flushing handle. once the cistern has been defiled with faeces, the toilet will begin to flush “sh-tty” water of a brown, slimy appearance. this not only leaves the victim with a very nasty clean-up job, but more importantly it represents an extreme hatred or humiliation for them.

the art of topdecking is something commonly joked about but very infrequently practised. it is a rare and extreme example of domestic terrorism, often done as a form of revenge or simply to cause gross inconvenience to the victim.
“hey, give that back or i’ll top deck in your toilet!”

“man, i’d love to top deck oxford university…”
1: used as a term for luck in obtaining a certain card to keep you alive or to win the game.
– originating in magic the gathering
charlie is a lucky m-th-r f-cker. he top decked a thoughtcast and then double shrapnel blasted me for the win… wat a top decker.
v. to top deck: a house guest who defecates in one’s host cistern, rather than, more conventionally, in the toilet, for comic effect.
tony blair and his wife cherie were invited round by the browns to congratulate gordon on his appointment as prime minister. cherie was furious because she never liked gordon and wanted her tony to stay on another 10 years. she said to herself : “i know, i’ll fix ’em with a good smelly top deck after the main course”.
widely used slang that cropped up recently in australia
1. something that is topnotch, excellent or above average.
2. affirmative.
marcus: “bro that transmog set is sick”
harry: “yeah topdeck”

“topdeck used to smash me mum”
-trent from punchy
verb meaning to lift the lid off a toilet cistern and subsequently cr-p inside. your sh-t will go undetected for months, except that each time someone flushes the smell will be released. it gets worse with every pull of the chain as the festering t-rd decomposes. try top decking your enemies – it’s the gift that keeps on giving.
i hate that jerk! next time i’m round his house i’m gonna top deck his m-therf-ckin’ toilet
bringing a girl home and having both you and your flatmate have a go. there are further requirements to be cl-ssed topdeck;

1.1-both resedents must be on the top story
1.2-residents are cl-ssfied as a top deck crew (one white one brown)
1.3-the deed must be shared roughly at a 50 50 ratio (performance dependant)

if all these criteria are met you have sucessfully top decked someone. and if you were on the other end of the stick(s) you have been top decked.

-top deck came from cadbury chocolate, half milk half white.
me and clements just top decked this chick in the weekend, what did you do?

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