Topshop

topshop is the popular highstreet shop which provides the uniform for the entire female populace of the uk aged between 17-21.

the vast majority of these females congregate on university campuses, often bemusing p-ssers by with the ability to blend in with one another and become just as indistinguishable as the person next to them.

occasionally, large groups of identical females can be seen trawling the highstreet in the evenings in hunt of a male to satisfy their tragically low self-esteem and re-ssure their superficial personna. these groups are known as “topshop brigades”. approach with caution, or lots of money and pseudo-compliments.
person 1: dude, with a gene pool full of identical human beings, the human race is f-cked!
person 2: relax! these people are all genetically different, they just happen to look the same. although you are correct, with another generation of superficial and fake individuals to look forward to, we are indeed f-cked :(.

person 1: wow, it’s my lucky night man! i just scored with two identical twins!
person 2: caution! that’s the topshop army you’re messing with!
person 1: oh man, how could i have been so blind? i’m going to go home and cut off my genitals so i never make that mistake again!

topshop girl 1: hey, have you seen my new outfit?
topshop girl 2: hey! i have one just like it!
normal individual: hey ladies, have you seen these new grenade shaped purses?
a large high street shop teenagers like to buy overpriced clothes from because they think its ‘different’ to other teenage clothing shops.

all shorts could p-ss off as denim knickers
all skirts/dresses (except maxis) could p-ss off as tight tops the common surrey girl wears with high heals to show ones pants at parties

despite the fact topshop is a clothing store they also have a small sweet shop by the counter so you buy the sweets and have to buy bigger sizes in their clothes

on a day out a cl-ssic surrey girl would wear head to toe toshop which is what she clasiffies as ‘different’
“hey i need some new shorts…topshop?”
“no babe they have actual denim knickers in primark!”
“sweet!”

surrey girl no.1 ‘oh my daiz babe i love your dress, wheres it from?’
surrey girl no.2 ‘topshop pet-te, yours sweetie?’
surrey girl no.1 ‘topshop online. your shoes?’
surrey girl no.2 ‘ topshop like my hat tights makeup and jewelry’
surrey girl no.1 ‘same! we look so different hunny’
a trendy clothing retailer that sells a large amount of bodycon dresses, crop tops, maxi skirts, and studded bags and shoes.
person a- “i just bought a new dress at topshop”
for awkward silences and general amus-m-nt, say this word as high pitched as possible.
hours of family fun ; )
man “i’m leaving you for your sister.”
women “…..topshop!!”
getting superior head from a fashion-forward b-tch
jose: yo pip what happened with that victoria secret model?
pip: she wasnt down to f-ck but she give me topshop
gesture made between mates, reafirming their close friendship. (see mighty boosh series 1)
one friend says to the other in soft and slightly inquisitive tones, whilst lighty taping said friend in a comforting manner with a their hand (fingers bunched together and touching the thumb) “topshop?”

friend replies with similar gesture to any part of friends body replying simply “topshop.”
1. an expensive high street shop where kate moss has her own stupid fashion range

2. a scene shop for emo’s to shop when they go through their ‘i love pretty flowers, h-llo kitty and ice cream’ stage and when they want to be more ‘different’ than they already claim to be. aside from that topshop sell some very pretty clothes for ‘normal’ people who genuinely are interested in fashion.
1. ‘wanna go to topshop today?’

‘f-ck no, i don’t wanna spend ££’s on stupid wemo clothes designed by kate moss!’

2. ‘i love topshop’

‘why?’

‘they sell pretty flowery things which i could wear and p-ss off for being my own unique style’

‘f-ck off, wemo’