Tottenham Hotspur

tottenham hotspurs are a bad football team that have not won a league championship since 1961, and have a large fan base of jewish community. tottenham thought that they had struck gold when they signed gareth bale, and he soon became the team. however he soon came to his senses and realised that tottenham were sh-t and left for a team 1000 times better. currently these clueless supporters just remember the good old days, not just when they had bale, but those 50 odd years ago when they actually won.
man1: ” hey did you watch the history channel last night?”
man2: “no what was on?”
man1: “something from before i was born, did you know tottenham hotspurs won a championship once?”
-both men burst into laughter-
the most over rated football team in london, 99% of fans think they are as good as barcelona and they have a c-ck sitting on a basketball for a badge. envious of their north london rivals -rs-nal who completely own them in every way possible, (ground, kit, fans, sponsors, headlines, players, manager etc)

tottenham have a wheeler-dealer judas manager named harry “back-hander” redknapp, he pays over the odds for any player going and will leave his club at the slightest sniff of a better paid opportunity.
aaron: did you see tottenham hotspur get spanked by (insert any team here) at the weekend?

kev (spurs fan in denial): yeah but we were playing our reserve team anyway (lies) so didn’t care, just wait till they come to white hart lame.

aaron: i’ll wait and i’ll laugh at you again you dirty yid.
a specialty s-x act performed between a transvest-te and her (his?) male counterpart. it usually involves an extra hot pizza pocket or pizza pop, and one or both parties is burned with the hot cheese & tomato sauce mixture.
this particular act originated in the tranny district of montreal, located near rue ontario.
“i picked up a tranny last night and asked her for a tottenham hotspur, but she wanted way to much money so i had to settle for an old fashioned”.
a cr-p footy team living in -rs-nals shadow, sh-t fans sh-t ground sh-t team
5-4 to the champions
a poor excuse for a north london football team
tottenham are poor and ledley king sucks
tottenham hotspur small and unsuccessful “football club” based in slum area of north london. not near highbury.

famous for having won only two league championships (a bit like chelsea, only worse). that’s an amazing 6 times as few as local superclub, -rs-nal. in fact, there are several notable events in history that happened just after the “mighty” lillywhites won their last league trophy: the beatles had not even had their first hit, the berlin wall had not been erected and man was yet to set foot on the moon. they have been relegated a few times. not like -rs-nal, who have remained in the top flight of english football for ninety years now, regularly winning championships. also famous for having mentally unstable fans that are unable to read and write and think they play a brand of football that can be witnessed at nearby superclub, and altogether cl-ssier footballing inst-tution with more history, the -rs-nal.
mindless delinquent: “oi chav, i support the second biggest football club in norf london”

sane person “what, the mighty barnet?”

mindless delinquent “nah mate, tottenham hotspur, innit”

sane person “oh you dirty little poor person. hear’s the number of the nearest mental home. and get your hand out of my pocket!”
fantastic north london football giants. cosmopolitan support, unlike neighbouring clubs in the capital. current top-rated english players include jermain defoe, ledley king and paul robinson. great players of the past include glenn hoddle, gazza, klinsmann and jimmy greaves.
-rs-nal, west ham and chelsea fans will probably need to refer to a dictionary to find out what “cosmopolitan” means.
the “other” team in north london, if you consider barnet to be a north london team.

have a great history and a long list of great players, but are habitually undermined by bad managers, bad luck, bad chairmen, bad referees or a combination of any number of the above. oh, alright, bad players as well.

the sort of team that has the players and infastructure to step up into the top six of the premiership, but have suffered several false dawns in the past 25 years to be wary of expecting achievments of note, at least until they win two games in a row, at which point we’re edging towards the uefa cup with no problem whatsoever, despite the fact we are one of the most inconsistent teams in the country, even when we aren’t being screwed out of goals, clear-cut penalties and countless other refereeing decisions each and every seasons, which racks up to the traditional 8-12 placing. oh alright, and managing to fit in at least three liabilities into the squad, two of which usually in defence. and having alan sugar not funding us for the best part of a decade, allowing both -rs-nal and chelsea to overtake us and brag about their five minutes in the sun.

easy target for superior -rs-nal and chelsea fans and other glory seekers, and genuine bile from west ham and leeds (local rivals 300 miles up the m1, obviously). still, at least charlton like us, which is nice.
“this’ll be the year we turn the corner!!!” (every fan filled with the spirit of 1961 for the past twenty seasons).

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