Tourist Season

a season in small ski-resort towns during which stupid foreigners fill the streets, lookin for things to spend far too much money on. also known as a hunting season during which the stupid tourons are game.
jen: “oh christ, its almost tourist season.”
jim: ” oop, better stock up on ammo and overpriced goods.”
in maine, tourist season goes from somewhere around memorial day, right up past labor day. this is where the state’s nickname “vacation land” comes from. it’s to hot to stay down in their own state and there’s no school, so they want to see the “quaint” state of maine.

what happens is they come in, drive like idiots, raise up the gas prices, and invaide the beachs, parks, and all the little shops from york to bangor, and some even farther north. they go to the lobster festival to eat the lobstahs at rediculously high prices and the other fairs. this is the time of year you see about 1 maine licence plate for every 10 “outta state” ones. where it takes at least 20 minutes to get down main street (if it usually takes 5min) tourists, outta state-ahs, people from away… and don’t forget the rich summah people who buy their property down on the coast!

yeah, we’re nice to ’em most a tha time, but they sure are a pain in the -ss!

but, once it’s all over with, it gets cold, and a little dull, so we can drive normal again to find somethin else to do. h-ll, sometimes we miss ’em! well, maybe not…
most maine-ahs (mainers – to be one, you must have been born in maine) joke about it and say “well, there’s deer season, and duck season, so since they call it ‘tourist season, why can’t we shoot them too?'”

when crossin’ a one way street durrin tourist season, look the one way for the locals, and make sure ya look the wrong way for the outta state-ahs!