Townies (Towny made redundant as you’ll never see one alone)

an individual of extremely little intelligence, and of contrasting aggression. the individual, if male must be small and be within posession of a squeaky voice and have an ego of that of a huge 20 year old body-builder when in reality the owner of the aforesaid ego is as skinny as a twig. uses highly offensive insults such as ‘ya mam!’ or ‘skag ‘ead’, has a distinct ability to pr-nounce h’s or t’s, most prominent on the words ‘skag ‘ead’ and ‘gutted’ respectively. not a single townie will have a realistic view of themselves and will perceive themselves to be genuine figures of inspiration in ‘ardness’ and that no-one will dare ‘mess wit dem’ for fear of being ‘sh-tted up’. a townie’s music taste will consist of anything with a repet-tive beat and a minimum of vocals hence: “push me, and then just touch me, so i can get my, satisfaction” from a townies perspective, the less complex and content of lyrics the better, in order to make it more digestable. dress sense includes a backwards cap, tracksuit bottom, stud or small hoop in one or both ears, tracksuit bottoms (cheap) and hair style must be in perfectly formed ‘french crop’, vanity is an important aspect in being a townie.
townie no. 1: ‘ere ya skag’ead, i wanna see dem needlemarks in ya arms ya skag’ead.
townie no. 2: yeah, you iz such a skag’ead phat rush, you iz wew phat.
townie no. 3: phat beats on fursday!
basically,, the biggest set of f-ckers you will ever find roaming the geen plains of fair england. likes include banging thier hoes, smoking cheap ciggeretes, attacking the small percentage of the population, in vastly unfair numbers that are inntimidated by them. also along with aol, msn messenger have mannaged to completly barstardize the english language by talking what can only be described as “warm diarrhea”
rudeboy 1: im a c-nt
me: i couldnt agree more
what every scrawney little p-ssy boy fears.
kurt cobain won’t save you, mother f-cker.