Tujunga

tujunga is the land of hillbillies, rejects, lifted trucks, and bros. everyone knows each other. if you don’t escape from this town, you will eventually become a toothless tweeker. all the homeless people who walk down foothill blvd. day and night look like the people from hills have eyes.
bro #1:i like your metal mulisha shirt bro, where you from?

bro #2:tujunga bro
land of the b-ms, alcoholics, armos, beaners,and of course the r-t-rded people that take sh-ts next to our house.
i hate tujunga.
wtf does tujunga mean anyways??????
b-m 1 from l.a.: where ya from?
b-m2 fom tujunga: im from tujunga (saying it quietly)
b-m1 from l.a.: hahhah loser!
b-m2 from tujunga: -runs away crying-
an ancient samoan war challenge. it is completed by hitting each side of your chest with the opposite hand, and then shouting, in a deep, war-like voice “tujunga!” the performer of the challenge must look the opponent directly in the eyes while performing it.
person being challenged: “your mom is a wh-r-.”
challenger: after hitting chest “tujunga!”
war will then ensue.
the cr-ppiest place on earth. (not counting indio). certainly there are places that absolutely suck, & tujunga is clearly one of the top 5 suckiest of all time. in my opinion, tujunga sucks so thoroughly that i don’t think anyone could ever exaggerate the colossal ceaseless immensity of the suckage in the slightest! dyson vacuums, tornados, hurricanes, interplanetary sp-ce, super-m-ssive black holes, your mom, h-ll,… everything loses suction rather quickly when measured against tujunga.

tujunga is undeniably “omnivacuous”: all- sucking.

which is why the meteorological community now universally accepts as fact, that it is windy in glendale, la crescenta, la canada, montrose, pasadena, sunland, shadow hills, lake view terrace, & even occasionally arleta, pacoima, & parts of the santa clarita valley, simply because tujunga sucks!!!

i can’t say that i actually have proof, but i wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if “tujunga” is early 1900’s regional slang meaning “to suck beyond human understanding, for all time, just because.” …or maybe it’s an ancient word from a long forgotten native tongue meaning “place to which all winds blow”

people say the only 2 things that can reliably be counted on are death & taxes,…. wrong! there are 3 things that are eternal: death, taxes, & the un-ssailable fact that tujunga sucks!!
i’m not worried about going to h-ll when i die,… i lived in tujunga