TVA Light Bulb Destructor

a device which was invented by a 7th grader, but never made it into production.

this is a product in which a hydraulic piston affair slowly comes down onto light bulbs burning base-down in receptacles at the bottom of the machine; it’s sole purpose is to destroy light bulbs while they’re burning.
{from a website about phoney-bologna staged ‘battles’ — usually amongst commercial & infomercial spokespeople, spokesanimals, and spokesthings}:

“robbins then goes on the rampage…he finds what’s left of that case of poor, defenseless, helpless light bulbs, carries it to the bathroom, and viciously throws each remaining bulb into the toliet — being certain that each one impacts the bowl above the waterline to -ssure bulb breakage and simultaneously rather loudly shouting, “breaking light belbs!!!” as each lamp implodes against the inside of the water closet with that loud “pop” and the distinctive tinkling of broken gl-ss. after every sixth bulb, robbins pulls down on that chrome plated lever at the top left front corner of the cistern, causing the busted bulbs in there to whirl down the sh-tbowl! once the case is empty, he carries it out to the dipsty dumpster at the back of the receiving home, lifts the lid, and nonchalantly tosses it in.

johnson thinks about building “the tva light bulb destructor” (something he drew up in the 7th grade, where a hydraulic piston affair slowly comes down onto light bulbs burning base-down at the bottom of the machine), but realises two fairly significant issues with building the asinine thing right away.

1: it would cost money to build — a fairly large amount of it too.
2: the time necessary to construct such an evil device is more than the time johnson wants to stay in this decade.

so that idea rather quickly goes to pot. ”