Uncle Herschel’s Favorite
the act of molesting and/or penetrating the most elderly waitress at cracker barrel.
history: uncle herschel had a impulsive s-xual taste for old women, near death. uncle herschel’s favorite is an act, a doc-mented chain of events comprised from herschel’s most coveted and well known encounter.
prerequisites:
her t-ts must sag like two eggs over easy. you must jiggle (earthquake test) to ensure maturity.
the act:
using three fingers you then must enter her r-ct-m in a pinching motion, pulling out any loose debris, then feeding her the mashbrown -sserole before it can be contaminated from the outside air. it must be fresh and ripe and done so in a sweeping motion. or if you prefer, that step can be byp-ssed if you’d rather insert an entire fried apple in her a-hole. there must be a sawmill gravy run in her panties, and her inner v-g-n-l walls must be the consistency of grits. both can only be tested only with your tongue, and no pinching of the nose is allowed. you then have to pick your meat and insert it whichever hole is still duty-free, while balancing the triangular peg game on her head.
any deviation, and it’s not an uncle herscel’s favorite… just nastyness, plus extensive jailtime.
bob: i’m h-rny.
neil: i’m hungry.
bob: want to goto cracker barrel?
neil: h-ll yea, what are you gonna eat?
bob: i’m probably gonna get an uncle herschel’s favorite
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