uncle ted

the real definition of an “uncle ted” is someone who walks into an empty restroom full of empty stalls, other than the one you are in, and opts to drop a major duece in the stall right next to you, which in turn annoys the f-ck out of you just like your uncle ted does. not recommended as uncle tedding someone can get your shoes p-ssed on.
“dude, im p-ssed as f-ck.”
“why what happened?”
“i was enjoying my peaceful morning shat session when some -sshole decided to uncle ted me.”
“what did you do?”
“i p-ssed on his shoes.”
“good, he deserved it. some people!”
a bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. an uncle ted makes it difficult to relax while on the cr-pper, as you should always wait to p–p when the bathroom is empty. this benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees… this is not to be confused with t-rd burglar who is someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open.
dude, i just got uncle tedded real bad. i was trying to take a dump, and some dude was in there looking in the mirror for like 10 minutes. finally, i just had to let it loose.
another name for ted nugent.
i listened to the song “stranglehold” by ol’ uncle ted.
someone who tries to enter a bathroom stall several times when it is clearly being occupied. the offender, known as the uncle ted, will try several times to forcefully open the door seemingly unknowing that someone is in fact using the facilities. can also be used as the adverb “uncle tedded”.
“i was in the handicapped stall at the comfort station and some uncle ted came in while i was taking a deuce.”
the person in your office who, no matter how frequently or what time it is, is always somewhere in the bathroom when you go in.
dude i went to the can at noon and at 2, jim went at 3 and 6:30, and barry went at 7 and “you know who” was in there every single time! he is such an uncle ted!

those two uncle teds from marketing creep me out! they are always hanging out by the sink next to the urinals and i think one of them was trying to sneak a peek at my junk while i peed.
the creepy guy always hanging round in the toilet, patrolling for potential p–pers before spending hours in a cubicle.
dude, you’ve been in here for 15 minutes!
i know, uncle ted won’t f-cking leave!
a guy who spends an inordinate amount of time in the men’s room, and you’d rather not know why.
jim wondered why that uncle ted with the high-topped sneakers was always in the other stall when he took a cr-p.

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