university of chicago

where fun goes to die, on the south side of chicago.
i knew this really cool kid but he ended up at u of c. he now writes angst-ridden poetry and has forgotten what sunlight looks like.
an elite private university where the work is hard and the name recognition sucks, but the monetary payoff (for some majors, at least) is ridiculously awesome.
“so where did you go to school?”
“the university of chicago.”
“sweet, me too! what fast food restaurant are you working at?”
“no, no, not the university of illinois at chicago. the university of chicago. i got a degree in economics there and now i’m making 120k a year on wall street.”
“oh. would you like fries with that?”
1. strange people
2. too much work due to the student body’s love of procrastination
3. squirrels are cuter than the girls
4. guaranteed lower gpa
5. don’t go here
wow, when i got to the university of chicago, a number of things happened: my gpa crashed, and my b-n-r disappeared.
1. it’s u of c not uic, morons.

2. the really good school your relatives will have never heard of.
1.

person 1: “oh, you go to uic? cool!”
u of c student: –sigh–

2.

grandmother, on hearing you’re at the university of chicago chicago: “oh, that’s nice dear. but i thought you were smart? why are you going to a state school?”
1. ranked the 8th best overall university in the country by u.s. news and world report.

2. the worst four years of your life.

3. the school that people in korea know about but people in chicago don’t.

4. not uic (university of illinois in chicago)
person 1: where do you go to school?

person 2: university of chicago.

person 1: cool! i have a couple of friends that go there!

person 2: no, you don’t. it’s u of c, not uic.

or,

man 1: is that a woman or a tree with warts?

man 2: impossible to tell, but she/it looks better than my
last girl friend from this school. let’s pop some more
anti-anxiety pills, smoke some weed, and drink a bit and see if she’ll talk to us. will you back me up in case i get scared?

man 1: please, does e=mc^2? of course i’ll back you up.

man 2: thanks, man. hey, if this doesn’t work out, let’s go
home and study!
noun. the best school in america. known for its rigorous curriculum, intelligent students, brilliant teachers and ugly females. the university of chicago is better than all of the ivies. washington university in st. louis thinks it compares with uofc but, thats just not factually correct. usually, the smartest person you know goes to university of chicago. harvard is the uofc of the ne, stanford of the west and oxford of the european continent.
student recently accepted into university of chicago: whew.

student recently accepted into yale: why are you relieved shouldn’t you be excited you go accepted into the university of chicago?

student recently accepted into university of chicago: i’m relieved i don’t have to go to yale.
where fun goes up in flames, to be reborn from its ashes. just like your dreams.
at the university of chicago, you will die, reincarnate, and die again. rinse and repeat for all aspects of your character. trust me, it’s fun!

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