Vagina Distortion Field


like the notorious reality distortion field (rdf) of steve jobs, a v-g-n- distortion field (vdf) affects perception, which thereby alters behavior. when someone is affected by a woman’s vdf, every aspect of her being seemingly improves in that person’s view. a woman’s vdf typically only influences those who have not yet had access to said v-g-n-. being warped by a vdf is different than being p-ssy whipped. with the latter, the whipped individual behaves abnormally to maintain access to the p-ssy, but perception of the v-g-n- owner is not altered. the vdf often has the greatest affect on the owner of the v-g-n-, making her vastly overestimate her worth, influence, and potential.
spock: “captain, you are once again risking the lives of the entire crew in the pursuit of some green slag.”

kirk: “mr. spock, your libido-less vulcan logic fails to grasp the enormity of the daily pon farr that starship command subjects on a man.”

spock: “mr. sulu and mr. chekov, move the enterprise as far as is necessary and raise whatever shield is needed to protect the captain’s mind from the insidious v-g-n- distortion field that is destroying his judgement.”

kirk: “spawwwwwwwwwk!!!”

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