vegan hummus
using this term will scare vegans as many of them love hummus as one of the few commercially viable but delicious vegan foods in the modern worlds. can be quite humorous. note that “hummus” can be subst-tuted with the name of any well-known vegan food with varying results; the best ones are things like “egg replacer” that the person has spent a lot of time looking for.
omnivore: “i picked up some ‘vegan hummus’ for you. i know you like that stuff.”
herbivore: “thanks! you’re so considerate. (to self) sh-t! what the h-ll has been in the hummus i’ve been eating all these years?”
omnivore: “(to self) victory! (to herbivore) don’t mention it.”
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