velociraptor

the dinosaur version of a ninja. once you see one of these things, you’re pretty much screwed.
holy sh-t! a velociraptor! everybody run!
the best type of dinosaur.
person #1: i love velociraptors.

person #2: i don’t love velociraptors.

person #1: well everyone else does, so f-ck you.
a genus of mongolian dromaeosaurid living about 80 million years ago during the late cretaceous. it was a small and nimble creature about 6 feet long, bird-like in structure, with a narrow, flattened head and an enlarged “killing claw” on the second toe. the arms ended in three-fingered hands with flexible wrists that could be “folded” like those of a bird.

they were probably quite social as well, and there is also evidence to support that they were nasty to each other as well as their prey. an overwhelming piece of evidence suggests that velociraptor preyed on the ceratopside protoceratops, as one specimen was found gripping the head frill of the latter with it’s foot claw in the creature’s belly. the protoceratops, in turn, was apparently biting the velociraptor’s arm with it’s h-rny beak and ramming it’s bony head into the raptor’s chest. what calamity claimed the lives of both creatures is unknown.

velociraptor, of course, was popularized by the jur-ssic park films and portrayed inaccurately. the so-called raptors in the films are much too big (deinonychus-sized), would almost certainly have had feathers, and were not as fast as cheetahs or as smart as monkeys. instead, raptors may have been about as smart as birds of prey.

other dromaeosaurid genera include deinonychus, dromaeosaurus, utahraptor, adasaurus, variraptor, megaraptor, saurornitholestes, sinornithosaurus, bambiraptor, and rhahonavis.
velociraptor was one mean little sob who could dish it out, but not take it.
velociraptors are commonly found on tropical islands converted to millionaire amus-m-nt parks, but are commonly being sighted in the pacific northwest.

velociraptors hunt in packs, and are known to form an equilateral triangle around their prey.

velociraptors can accelerate 4 m/s with a top speed of 25 m/s on open terrian, 10 m/s while wounded, and 10 m/s in indoor laboratories.

velociraptors can open doors, but are slowed by them. they can open an initial door in approximately 5 minutes, and will take half that time for each subsequent door.

velociraptors do no know fear.
velociraptors are really f-cking scary
used in place for the word n-gg-.
1) sup, velociraptor.
2) velociraptor please.
i particularly aggressive brand of cougar. a surly middle aged woman who like to hunt younger men for companionship. velociraptors may hunt alone or they may hunt in a group. the typical cougar uses bravado to make up for ages of insecurity, she pretends to be sure of her self and hides behind the hunt. the velociraptor is much more skilled, knows the score and is capable of taking down not just cougar bait but confident young men as well.
person 1: why do you think a-rod ruined his marriage to get with that nasty old madonna?

person 2: i don’t think he had a chance once she had him in her sights, madonna isn’t a cougar, she’s a full blown velociraptor. a-rod was simply out matched.
the best dinosaur ever; dale and brennan’s favorite dinosaur
dale: favorite dinosaur: 1, 2, 3…
both: velociraptor!

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