Viking Funeral

1. n. the practice of sending your non-functional electronics to the afterlife.

honorable dead electronics can go to valhalla if sent properly. in order to send your honorable dead to valhalla, you must:

1.) place dead electronics in a boat
2.) set the boat on fire
3.) let it drift out on a body of water.

the higher the esteem for your dead device, the more peripherals and accessories you include in the boat so that it may have the same status, functionality, esteem and quality of life in the afterlife. besides, manufacturers usually don’t make the same connectors on different devices.

just like wall st., the real skill in this practice is to avoid a criminal record. fire fighters and police officers are usually unfamiliar with this practice and will treat it with extreme skepticism or prejudice.
1) when i stopped drooling into my mac airbook, i realized it would no longer work. since i love my mac so much, i went to a near by lake to give it a viking funeral.

2) i am on probation for a viking funeral after sending my super nintendo to valhalla after 14 years of glorious service. r.i.p., snes
a ceremony often done by true weed growers, when a long term mother from which many stem cuttings have been taken from to grow new plants (normally propagate a good genetic line). is finally ready for retirement. the mother is taken to flowering stage, and when ready, smoked in a solemn (at first) ceremony to thank her for her gifts
my hammerhead mother is ready, 2 years, 30 cuttings, i flowered it and now its time to give the old lady a viking funeral
the act of lighting a clump of toilet paper on fire atop ones excrement in a standard toilet bowl and then flushing the toilet causing a beautiful flaming typhoon. the fire and log are eventually swallowed by the toilet leaving a last puff of smoke with a strong ancient burning odor.

this act is most often deployed when an individual feels the need to mask the smell of their excrement when the standard pack of matches is not available but a lighter is at hand. the burning toilet paper shows a 76% masking of the odor in most cases vs. 89% for a book of matches. wooden matches provide an impressive 96% masking.

the second most popular reason for deploying this act is for the sheer proudness an individual may feel about the cr-p they created. as if it deserved to be sent off in style.
that doodie was so awesome. it was shaped like a c for chris! i had to give it a viking funeral bro!
when you light your d-ck on fire and extinguish it in your partners -ss
i gave quinn a viking funeral last night
the act of placing a blackout drunk friend, who has vomited and p-ssed out during the act of skinny dipping, on a boat or other aquatic vessel with the hope that they safely return to sh-r-. this allows the rest of the group to continue enjoying their nude swimming experience.

this activity should preferably occur in a mangrove delta region in west africa, or scandanavia.
“d-mn dude will got so wasted last night we had to give him a viking funeral so we could continue to chill naked.”

“i just lost my job so i’m going to get viking funeral drunk tonight.”
when you’re f-cking your partner doggy style, you light their hair on fire and dunk his/her head in a toilet.
my apartment smelled like pure evil after i gave my girlfriend a viking funeral last night…
an overblown, overpriced funeral for a public figure — such as a musician, politician, actor, or athlete — that is vastly disproportionate to how much attention s/he needed to receive.
peter: “hey, did you see paris speaking at the michael jackson funeral?”

stewart: “how could i not? that viking funeral was on every blasted channel!”