violent affection

toxic narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder. an inflated sense of self importance and extreme egocentric behavior that asphyxiates anyone who gets too close.

believing that you’re better than others

fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness

exaggerating your achievements or talents

expecting constant praise and admiration

believing that you’re special and acting accordingly

failing to recognize other people’s emotions and feelings

expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans

taking advantage of others

expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior

being jealous of others

believing that others are jealous of you

trouble keeping healthy relationships

setting unrealistic goals

being easily hurt and rejected

having a fragile self-esteem

appearing as tough-minded or unemotional
and such men, when they have a violent affection to themselves, choose neither to eat nor to sleep rather than to perfect the things which they care for but are incapable of caring about anyone else.
1 more definition
emotional abuse towards lovers, family and friends designed to control and subjugate another human being through the use of fear, humiliation, devaluation, dominating, invalidation, intimidation, guilt, coercion, manipulation and neglect, etc.

it can include anything from verbal abuse and constant criticism to more subtle tactics, such as repeated disapproval or even the refusal to ever be pleased.
his violent affection towards his girlfriends and children eventually alienated him from everyone and he died a lonely man.