Wank Window
the length of time you wife/girlfriend is out shopping, getting hair done etc that you have to indulge in a bit of me time.
right, thats the missus away out for an hour, lets get the p-rn stash out, i have a good ‘w-nk window’ to get the deed done
a w-nk window is limited time frame in which an opportunistic married man is alone in his home and can therefore peruse ‘performing art’ videos on the home computer whilst digitally stimulating his phallus. mission control usually grants w-nk windows when the wife has gone to tesco with the kids to do the shopping / gone to see relatives / went out with her mates. w-nk windows are known to be tenuous and unpredictable because the wife may return early and the act of self flagellation may have to be aborted.
courier: i tried to deliver the parcel to number 8 this morning but the bloke wouldn’t answer the door. i rang the bell repeatedly but he appeared to be glued to his computer in the front room, ignorant tw-t!
boss: how’d he look?
courier: funnily enough he was sweating, red faced and seemed utterly focused elsewhere.
boss: son, a man’s w-nk window is sacred. when you’re married you’ll understand.
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