Warhammer 40,000

warhammmer 40,000 is a tabletop strategic game, which means that people collect little plastic and metal miniatures, paint them and use them for a game, just like a 3-in-1 hobby. these battles are played by at least 2 persons, together with a bunch of dice, yardsticks, rulebooks and the like. each miniature has its own profile. the players organise their armies into hq-units, troops, elites, fast attack, and heavy support and fight for about a couple of hours. kinda like online gaming, but then in real.

the story goes about that thirty-eight thousand years in the future, the mighty imperium of man has spread across the galaxy, to discover that the galaxy is a h-ll that would make hieronymous bosch sh-t himself in terror, and that it has a h-ll. from without, the imperium is -ssailed by alien monsters from the depths of sp-ce, nightmare death-machines and soulless daemons; from within, treachery, heresy, mindless incompetence and the festering taint of chaos threaten to tear it apart.
warhammer 40,000 is not a happy place. rather than just being darker and edgier, it paints itself black and hurls itself over the edge. the basic premise of 40k, as far as it can be summed up, is that of an eternal, impossibly vast conflict between a number of absurdly powerful aliens and the like. the basic weapon of a human sp-ce marine is a fully automatic armour-piercing grenade launcher.

the 40k universe is a spectacularly brutal playground of tropes and horrible things taken to their absolute extreme. the imperium is protected by two different armies: the superhuman sp-ce marines and the m-ssive armies of the imperial guard. trillions of soldiers in its regular armies take disregard for human life further than most people could believe possible. a futuristic sp-ce inquisition ruthlessly hunts down anyone with even a hint of the taint of the heretic, the mutant, or the alien. there’s a bug swarm trying to eat everything in the galaxy, a light-years wide hole in reality through which countless daemons and corrupted daemon-powered super-soldiers periodically attempt to destroy the universe. everywhere you go, there’s the dumb-ss greenskinned ork species that’s infesting every corner of the galaxy and cheerfully trying to kill everything else in the galaxy because it’s literally hard-wired into their genetic code.

and that is just the tip of the iceberg. warhammer 40k is generally played by people of 12-30 years old, but those that have warhammer as a hobby are mostly described by others as geeks, nerds or r-t-rds. that’s all prejudging. most people don’t even know where they are talking about. the only thing that sucks is that the stores that sell warhammer (games workshop mainly) are raping their customers because they ask £20, €30 or $40 for about fifteen plastic warriors or one tank.

the one thing you must know about warhammer 40,000
thou shallst always remember these wise words: sp-ce marines are t3h uberz! hurr!
warhammer 40,000 (informally known as warhammer 40k or simply 40k) is a tabletop miniature war game produced by games workshop, set in a science fantasy universe. you play by buying miniature figures that represent your army and you use them to fight against another persons army. the game play is turn based which each player having there “phases” where the player moves or shoots and/or physically -ssults there enemies.attles may last anywhere from a half hour to several days, and battles may be strung together to form campaigns. some game and hobby stores host games periodically, and official tournaments are held on a regular basis.

wow f-ggots hate warhammer with a p-ssion(just because there f-ggots) and have nothing better to do than play blizzard games and bash warhammer like that f-ggot “i am metro”
normal person: hey you wanna play warhammer 40,000?

normal person 2: nah im good for today maybe tomorrow

normal person: yeah i got stuff to do anyway

wow f-ggot: omg you guys have no lives

normal person 2: but aren’t you thirty and stay in your mothers bas-m-nt all day?
possibly the best science fiction universe ever, it all started with the table top game and later grew into an elaborate futuristic setting. the table top game can easily be summed up as “wallet-rape” as a ten man squad of sp-ce marines costs thirty five dollars american.

the setting is around the year 40,000 and there is only war. chaos is the biggest threat to humanity and has caused the loss of most knowledge, humanity is in a dark age of sorts, and they worship machines like gods. technology is kept running by a cult: the machine cult of mars. who produce techpriests who utilize mechanical augmentation because flesh is a weakness.

the emperor a man who stuck down horous, the chaos war master who lead the first black crusade. is encased in a golden throne that will sustain him for eternity and he is treated like a god.

that was a brief over view of the emperium all the other races and people and everything else’s information fills novels and codexs.
i am metro: warhammur sux a$$ kuz u pple r like f-gots n stuff

warhammer 40,000 player: -decks f-ggot- stfu b-tch id like to see you write this sh-t but your mind is filled with too much sp-nk and warcraft to even comprehend a fictional world more advanced than starwars.
warhammer 40,000 is a gothic/futuristic version of warhammer. you have to buy these little plastic models of futuristic soldiers and paint them and then use them as part of a tabletop game, kinda like command and conquer but without the computer or base construction. warhammer 40,000 is less expensive then warhammer but the manufacturers are stil taking advantage of exclusive rights and popularity, a starter set can easily cost over $50 and if you want to play the larger games be ready to cough up several hundred dollars, not to mention all the time needed to paint all the units.

most people who play warhammer 40,000 have no life, aside from warhammer, and thus they get depressed, so they go out and play warhammer so they feel a part of something, which convinces them that they really do have a life, they spend more money and time in mom’s bas-m-nt painting more warhammer soldiers, and thus continues the cycle of a looser.
looser: what are you doing on friday?
normal person: i have a date, what about you
looser: i’m going to play warhammer 40,000 until 4am
normal person: will your mom let you stay out that late?