weathorrist
weathorrist, noun, a weathorrist is a person who terrorizes others with descriptions of impending weather.
the weathorrist’s descriptions of impending weather are not kind suggestions or advice like, “it’s getting cold, don’t forget your scarf.” or “drive safe, the roads are freezing.” they are prolonged, carefully chosen threats that suggest you will never be prepared for what’s coming. a weathorrist will continue their dire weather forecast until you appear visibly shaken. then, they will walk smugly away. a weathorrist will usually refer to a recent ice storm nightmare scenario that they survived by sleeping in one room, for a week with an ex-spouse and their extended family-after the painful divorce and some neighborhood dogs, for warmth. they may point out that your family has been living in south florida for generations and will imply that your ancestors may have been genetically unsuited to survive severe weather events. the weathorrist’s power comes from choosing a weather scenario that you are unfamiliar with. therefore, the weathorrist is merely a bully. if you begin to feel uncomfortable while discussing weather with a weathorrist, you have been weathorred.
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